How to dance in a nightclub for dummies.

Part 1:

Boys: first- the "come get on ma dick bitch pout"

You MUST master this upper lip curl and simultaneously combine it with the "chin nodd" in time with the music. this is essential. if you cannot do this you should be at home with nanna. Keep in mind however that even nanna's can crank the pout so she might might bail on you for a bump and grind down at the club come 8:30.

Second- "spastic fish with legs move"

This is also in conjunction with the "come get on ma dick bitch pout" and "chin nodding" and can be executed by simply imagining what a fish might look like, out of water, unable to breathe, with legs and some rhythmic capabilities. Some of the really fly boys add an the basic "crotch grab move" which I'm sure you are all familiar with by now, originally pioneered by the one and only - MJ R.I.P.

epic grab there Mike.

Thirdly- Location Location Location

Chicks LOVE IT when you subtly dance around them, like just behind them. We love that shit. It communicates that you want said bitch, but not enough to actually buy her a drink, its mysterious and a little bit bad ass, turning. me. ON. It is okay to occasionally even go for a feel but DON'T LET HER KNOW IT WAS YOU (unless she is into it...or doesn't notice cos she's drunk and therefore missing feeling in most of her limbs, then its all go.)

Note: Spotting a potential mate/bump and grind partner.

Make sure she's a bit of a slut, look for classic signs like bad hair extensions, clumpy eye make-up, three or four drinks in hand that she is "holding for her friends cos they needed to chuck a piss ayyyyy" Yep, you got er' what a catch. Once you got her its important you postion yourself in the grind position. Legs wide, shoulders loose, hands on her hips and let her do the rest, bitch knows where to go yerrr boiiii.

If your an ugg, better spin her around, get her another drink and wait for her to loose 20/20 vision :D

Follow these instructions and you will never fail.

CHIK CHIK BOOM

today i went to work to earn the rent for my wicked house. tonight i'm going to...wait for it...capitol/amps. its the safest bet on a saturday. here are some shots from the holiday, sentosa island butterfly farm. with a parrot that is LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. been having alot of religious conversations with various religious people. trying not to be mean to them...i'm sorry but sometimes i don't think you know what is coming out of your mouth.

also becoming a little bit feminist as well. its weird.

new song : lately i've been feeling homemade, special and cheap, cheap and real, like i know

where each part of myself came from.

see you in the morning.

epic jump. man vs wild -esque.
















me and some friends went for a walk through the bush. here's some photo's.

Hound Dog Taylour and the Houserockers

Waterfront Hotel, dessert time. They had an in house dessert chef (i'm sure there's a name for it...). She made the most delicious crepes. We got nice and fat on mango juice and these.

Today was pretty good, miri and i cruised around ikea, lapping up all the pretty minimalist design and wishing we actually owned homes to fill with useless swedish junk.

I have been watching too much daytime tv and i actually HATE Koshie. Oh and the election. Yes, my hair is the same colour as Julia Gillards, well done, you are very clever, no i don't know if i will be voting for her, it depends on who you are voting for and whether I can be bothered giving you the shits today. loser.






Singapore, Clark Quay

riverside mother f*cker.


Got this top for less than $5 aus. probably cos its hideous, but i know why i like it.

travel is so good.

recently i went to Cebu and Singapore for a wedding. Cebu is a city in The Phillipians, its similar to Bali without the tourism that would probably make it wealthy. It was unsafe to go around the city but the bride's family lived in a middle class area and we had a short meal with them. This photo is some of the neighbours.

Cebu really made me think about wealth. A can of Coke in Cebu costs less than 5 cents Australian, and it is considered a luxury to have it in the family home. There are slums and makeshift houses in alleyways and on river fronts. I'm rich. i'm rolling in it.

i'll be back soon with more.

B.B King and I are related.

It's a stretch, I know, but imagine if he was.

I bought (well shea bought and i promised to pay him back...one day....maybe) BB King's Definitive Greats cd. He's just too good.

Went op shopping and spent money I should have used on more important things...like food or...food. But i got some wicked boots and who needs to eat right?

Had a band practice too! we have atleast 4 songs that are inches away from being finished. I need to start gathering drums of some kind. Speaking of music, my boo (oh god thats such a dumb slang word, never again, sorry) has started a music blog. He's just done a quick review on the new Arcade Fire single. So if you're keeeen?

Also Jenny Lewis is one of the most beautiful creatures this world has ever birthed.

Here's To You Mrs Robinson

Argh its been YAGES. Sorry folks, I moved out and just got the internet again. Things have died down since uni finished and I'm off on a holiday soon!

Best thing of the holidays so far. 'Not so Penguin Island' with co. We waded out to the island, which is about 500 metres from the mainland, got there and this LAME ranger guy told us the island is "closed" and that we had to "go back". Oh its winter by the way, so the water is FUCKING COLD. it was actually really cool though, we had a good lunch and kicked the footy around. Photo's courtesy of Miri xx I'll be back soon with more.

"I sure like that candy" - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Mojo